ChatBot Suite

by Greg Crowther

Context

A three-part rhapsody about academic applications of AI-powered chatbots.

Lyrics

Part 1 (Student): "What I'm Looking For" (after U2)

I have felt high stress mounting;
I have struggled through this field,
But only an A will do,
And so I will cheat with you.
I've used versions free to all;
I have scaled these paywalls,
These paywalls...
Only to cheat with you.
But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.
But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.
No, I still haven't found what I'm looking for.

Part 2 (Professor): "Kiss Your Test Integrity Goodbye" (after The Nylons)

Students don’t love tests
The way that I love tests;
I have seen the tears a-fallin’
From their eyes.
I still remember, baby,
When our tests were so long....

So go on, go ahead and quiz them --
Go on and quiz them --
They've got A.I.!
Na na na na, A A A, A.I.!
Na na na na na na, huh!
Na na na na na na, huh!
Na na na na na na, huh!
Na na na na na na!
Na na na na,
Na na na na,
Kiss the old ways goodbye!

Part 3 (Chair/Dean): "Bot Sides Now" (after Joni Mitchell)

Lightning answers from the cloud
In prose to make a teacher proud!
Can such assistance be allowed?
I’ve looked at bots that way....

But now those bots are acting strange;
Each time I ask, their answers change!
Well, something’s lost and something’s gained
From giving them their say....

I’ve looked at bots from both sides now,
From free and paid, and still, somehow,
It’s bots’ illusions I recall;
I still don’t get A.I. at all.