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Anteater

This parody (written by Greg Crowther) is sung to the tune of "Maneater" (written by Daryl Hall, John Oates, and Sarah Allen and performed by Hall & Oates).


Lyrics

She mainly comes out at night -- the spiny, toothless type --
Nothing is new; I've seen her crawling around,
Watching and waiting.
She hasn't eaten in days, and her eyes are on the ground.

She doesn't give a hoot about your chitin armor suit.
It won't protect you when you're in her mouth amongst the dirt,
Feeling the pressure
Of her tongue as it crushes you; this is going to hurt....

Oh-oh here she comes! Watch out, boys, she'll dig you up.
Oh-oh here she comes! She's an anteater.
Oh-oh here she comes! Watch out, boys, she'll lick you up.
Uh-oh, there's her tongue! She's an anteater.

So harmless she may seem -- an innocent monotreme --
But she's zeroing in on all your kin irrespective of their castes.
Better cry "Uncle!"
She hasn't eaten in days, but she's going to break the fast.

Oh-oh here she comes! Watch out, boys, she'll root you out.
Insects on the run from the anteater.
Oh-oh here she comes! Watch out boys, she's got a really big snout.
Oh-oh here she comes! She's an anteater.

Oh-oh here she comes! Watch out, boys, she'll dig you up.
Oh-oh here she comes! She's an anteater.
Oh-oh here she comes! She sees another place to sup:
Another nest to plumb. She's an anteater.


Comments

This song makes reference to the following facts. (Source: The Australian Echidna by Eleanor Stodart, 1991.)

1. The spiny anteater is a monotreme. Monotremes are an order of egg-laying mammals.

2. The spiny anteater is more active at night, except when the weather is cold.

3. It digs into ant nests and termite mounds with its long snout. Its long, sticky tongue collects insects and dirt, which are then crushed between its tongue and the roof of its mouth.

4. It can gorge itself on large meals and then go without food for relatively long periods of time.

5. Ants have an exoskeleton made of chitin, a polysaccharide.

6. Within a colony, the ants are divided into castes, including the workers, the males, and a queen.

I realize that some of the lyrics could be interpreted as being sexually suggestive. Please be assured that this is purely coincidental.