Test This Way

This parody (written by Greg Crowther) is sung to the tune of "Walk This Way" (written by Joe Perry and Steven Tyler and performed by Aerosmith feat. Run-D.M.C.).

These parody lyrics were written for a March 2023 American Society for Biochemistry and Molecular Biology (ASBMB) pre-conference talk -- presented jointly with Ben Wiggins -- on making summative assessments fairer, more interesting, and more humane.

When I was younger,
Teaching was a bummer
‘Cause my students got so stressed out!
Their heads were dizzy
From flashcard quizzing,
And my tests always made 'em pout!

So my students were sinking,
And I was thinking
Of ways to save ‘em from the abyss,
But I had slim pickin's
'Til I met Ben Wiggins
And he gave me some great big tips, like this!

“Begin at the end!”
Said Dr. Ben;
“It’s a method called backward design.
What’s the goal desired
And the data required?
You instruct with those in mind!”

Now I’m finding it prudent
To inform my students
Of the test format in advance.
And they feel less stressed
Now that high-stakes tests
Are less of a game of chance!

They told me to test this way --
Assess this way!
Ben told me to test this way --
Less stress this way!
Everybody should test this way --
Assess this way!
Everbody, now -- test this way --
Less stress this way!
Let me give you some tips!