What's the Method You Want?

This parody (written by Greg Crowther and Leila Zelnick) is sung to the tune of "You're the One That I Want" (written by John Farrar and performed by Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta).

Context

A song written with and for my wife (as Dr. Sandy Olsson, denoted below as SO) and I (as Dr. Danny Zuko, denoted below as DZ) to sing at her Grand Rounds presentation to the UW Division of Nephrology (March 18, 2022) on the biostatistics of analyzing groups' changes over time, including a discussion of Lord's Paradox (a special case of Simpson's Paradox).

Lyrics

DZ: You’ve got data from a trial
With a treatment and control;
An ANOVA can determine
If the treatment's workin'!

SO: You better shape up --
No ANOVA, man!
Use a tool that’s more precise!
You better shape up --
Do ANCOVA, man!
Make your error bars look nice!
DZ: Make 'em nice!
"Use ANCOVA" is my advice!

BOTH: CHORUS:
What's the method you want?
(Method that you want, ooh, ooh, ooh!)
It depends on the study you’ve got!
(Study that you've got, ooh, ooh, ooh, Honey!)
What's the method you want?
(Method that you want, ooh, ooh, ooh!)
It just depends (just depends)!
Be smart, my friends (yes, my friends)!

SO: If your groups aren’t random,
Different baselines may be seen.
An ANCOVA will regress them
To the mean.

DZ: You better shape up,
’Cause you need to know...
SO: ...You need to know
How group changes should be scored.
DZ: A question asked
That is unconditional...
SO: ...Unconditional,
Needs ANOVA, nothing more.
DZ: Nothing more...
BOTH: ...As explained by Frederic Lord!

BOTH: CHORUS

[repeat and fade]

Other Files

• MP3 (demo; with Leila Zelnick and Karaoke-Version.com)

• music video