Leila's Job

This parody (written by Greg Crowther) is sung to the tune of "Stacy's Mom" (written by Adam Schlesinger and Chris Collingwood and performed by Fountains of Wayne).

This song was written for a Williams College statistics seminar given by Williams alum Leila Zelnick '00. As such, it is based on a hit written by fellow alums Adam Schlesinger '89 and Chris Collingwood '89, and includes references to Ephs (after the College's founder, Ephraim Williams) and longtime Williams math professor Tom Garrity. It also alludes to a famous remark by statistician John Tukey (who grew up in Massachusetts, but was never affiliated with Williams) that "The best thing about being a statistician is that you get to play in everyone's backyard."

Acronyms used below: AKIs = Acute Kidney Injuries, LCA = Latent Cluster Analysis, FTE = Full-Time Equivalent, eGFR = estimated Glomerular Filtration Rate.

Leila's job has so much going on!
Leila's job has so much going on!
Leila's job has so much going on!
Leila's job has so much going on!

Leila's got a new project, and it's so cool!
(It's so cool!)
She broke AKIs into two different pools!
(Two different pools!)
She used LCA to find subphenotypes!
(Subphenotypes!)
And these predicted which treatments were right!
(Treatments were right!)

You know she's not the undergrad that she used to be --
She's all grown up,
Like Professor Garrity!

CHORUS:
Leila's job has so much going on!
Every new question
Leads to more backyard fun!
Variety is key
With each partial FTE;
I know it might be odd,
But I'm in love with Leila's job!

Leila's job has so much going on!
Leila's job has so much going on!

Leila told me all about eGFR.
(eGFR!)
She found the current equation to be subpar!
(Be subpar!)
For Black patients, the story was clear:
(The story was clear!)
They would get a kidney in two fewer years!
(Two fewer years!)

And a job like this seems like a fantasy,
But if Leila can do it,
There is hope for Ephs like me!

CHORUS

[guitar solo]

Leila's job has so much going on!
Every new question
Leads to more backyard fun!
Variety is key
With each partial FTE;
I know it might be odd,
But I'm in love with --
Leila's job, ah-oh-ah-oh,
Leila's job, ah-oh-ah-oh,
Leila helped me see
How to use a stat degree!
I know it might be odd,
But I'm in love with Leila's job!