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Calibration

This parody (written by Greg Crowther) is sung to the tune of "Celebration" (written and performed by Kool & The Gang).


Context

Calibration is the act of referencing one's experimental measurements to an external standard. It usually entails analyzing samples of known composition (sometimes called "standards") and verifying that these measured values are consistent with those obtained previously. The calibration process is often considered dull or tedious, but it doesn't have to be....


Lyrics

Calibrate that 'scope, come on!
Calibrate that slope, come on!

There's a problem with the data we've seen:
We don't know what those numbers really mean.
So bring your standards and your notebook too;
We're gonna calibrate your equipment with you.
Come on, now. Calibration.
Let's all calibrate and have a good time. Calibration.
Let's plot these points and hope they form a straight line.

It's time to convert Volts to pressure.
It's up to you; what's your measure?
Everyone around the lab, come on! It's a calibration.
Calibrate that chart, come on! It's a calibration.
Calibrate that part, come on! Let's calibrate.

There's a signal coming out right here:
Let's quantify it; I need a volunteer.
Get your ruler and your pencil too;
We're gonna calibrate your equipment with you.
Come on, now. Calibration.
Let's all calibrate and have a good time. Calibration.
Looks like the gain* is thirty-seven point nine.

It's time to convert Volts to pressure.
It's up to you; what's your measure?
Everyone around the lab, come on!
It's a calibration. It's a calibration.
Calibrate that box, come on! Let's calibrate.
Calibrate those clocks, come on! Let's calibrate.

We're gonna put these values on a graph.
Let's calibrate; do the math.
We're gonna put these values on a graph.
Let's calibrate; do the math.
Baby, we're gonna put these values on a graph.
Let's calibrate; do the math.
We're gonna put these values on a graph.
Let's calibrate; do the math.

Calibrate those lines, come on! Let's calibrate.
Calibrate three times, come on! It's a calibration.
[ad lib/repeat/fade]