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by Greg Crowther


This is a musical account of a science geek's ill-fated quest for romance. The original source of the Taq polymerase used in the polymerase chain reaction (PCR) is Thermus aquaticus, sometimes (though less frequently) referred to as Thermophilus aquaticus


Well, I know the sequence of the steps in glycolysis,
And I know how to catalyze an amide hydrolysis,
And I know the first forty digits of the value of pi.
I convert to Celsius without a thermometer,
And I know know to calibrate a light spectrometer;
I haven't figured you out yet, but I'd really like to try.

Erica, Erica, I've been across America,
Studying all the way through.
But there's more to me than just esoterica --
There's lots of love for you.

Now I know every bone from the toes to the cranium,
And I know twenty-seven uses for uranium,
And I know what the ideal gas equation is for.
I can do PCR with help from Thermophilus,
And I know the reproductive cycle of Drosophila,
And I know you're in there, and I wish you would open the door.


Yes, I know the function of Wernicke's area,
And I know the tertiary symptoms of malaria,
And I know who coined the term "cell" -- it was Robert Hooke.
I know Newton's first and second Laws of Motion,
And I know the osmolarity of every major ocean,
But I don't know how to please you, so I guess I'll go back to my books.


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MP3 (by Joel Tetreault)

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