Don't Shop

This parody (written by Greg Crowther) is sung to the tune of "Don't Stop" (written by Christine McVie and performed by Fleetwood Mac).

Here is some unsolicited advice on staying stafe during the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic. The first draft was written for my mother-in-law's birthday party, but this revised version is for everyone!

If you’re craving a meal at the mall,
Don’t go out amidst the aerosols!
Arrange delivery of food off the shelf;
When it arrives, you can cook it yourself!

CHORUS:
Don’t shop today, tonight or tomorrow!
Don’t shop -- the virus is still here.
It’s still here, the same as before!
Yesterday’s gone, but COVID goes on!

You skip the barber; you skip the salon.
Your hair’s long ’cause you're savvy and strong!
Stay patient with your grown-out 'do
And you won’t become a patient in the ICU!

CHORUS

All you want is for your pants to fit;
Relax your standards just a little bit.
Your jeans may need another inch or two,
But safe choices always look great on you!

CHORUS (twice)

Ooh, don’t forget your mask!
Ooh, don’t forget your mask!
Ooh, don’t forget your mask!
Ooh, don’t forget your mask!

• MP3 (by the Zelcro Family Singers)

• music video (by Evalyn Harper)

Songs like this one can be used during class meetings and/or in homework assignments. Either way, the song will be most impactful if students DO something with it, as opposed to just listening.

An initial, simple follow-up activity could be to answer the study questions below. A more extensive interaction with the song might entail (A) learning to sing it, using an audio file and/or sheet music as a guide, and/or (B) illustrating it with pictures, bodily poses, and/or bodily movements. The latter activity could begin with students identifying the most important or most challenging content of the song, and deciding how to illustrate that particular content.

(1) Is there a difference between "coronavirus" and "COVID"?

(2) True or false: coronavirus genomes consist of a single strand of DNA.

(3) Why are coronaviruses named coronaviruses?

(4) Which of the following human diseases is NOT caused by a coronavirus? (A) avian influenza (bird flu), (B) COVID-19, (C) common cold, (D) Middle East Respiratory Syndrome (MERS/camel flu), (E) Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome (SARS).

(5) What is the main anatomical target of the COVID-19 virus in humans? (Hint: masks and ventilators!)

(6) The lyrics refer to aerosols. What are aerosols, in the context of infectious disease?

(7) The lyrics refer to people going to the ICU. What fraction of people who get the virus need to be hospitalized?

(8) The song advises people to wear masks. What is the main benefit of mask-wearing?

(Answers may be found on the answers page.)