Brain Jokes
First, let me apologize. I hope you find these jokes funny, but if not, maybe you could come up with some better ones!! Send them to me at:

If you have the FLASH Shockwave plug-in for your browser, try the BRAINY JOKE GENERATOR. Also visit the Brain Cartoon Page for cartoons from the Neuroscience for Kids web site.

All of the jokes and answers are also available in two PDF files:

[Jokes] | [Answers]

Click on the "answer button" to see the answer and the to see a page that explains the answer (or gives a hint).

  1. What is a sleeping brain's favorite musical group (rock band)?

  2. What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?

  3. Why were the axons bothered by myelin?

  4. Where does a neuron keep its money?

  5. What are the magic words for a brainy magician?

  6. What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?

  7. Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?

  8. Where does a brain go on vacation?

  9. What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?

  10. Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?

  11. What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?

  12. What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?

  13. What happens if you break the brain scanner?

  14. What kind of fish performs brain surgery?

  15. What do neurons do on their birthdays?

  16. What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?

  17. Why do neurons like e-mail?

  18. Which cranial nerve would be right at home in a well-known city in Nevada?

  19. Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?

  20. What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?

  21. What did the Hollywood film director say after he finished making a movie about myelin?

  22. What did the neuron say to the glia cell?

  23. What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?

  24. What works even after it is fired?

  25. If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?

  26. Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?

  27. What do you call glia when it is happy?

  28. Why do mummies like myelin?

  29. If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?

  30. An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?

  31. What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?

  32. How did the mother know her child would become a neuroanatomist?

  33. Why should you keep matches away from a neuron?

  34. What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?

  35. What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?

  36. What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?

  37. What did the optometrist say to the distracted students?

  38. Why are sponges and brains similar?

  39. What happens when a neurotransmitter falls in love with a receptor?

  40. What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?

  41. What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?

  42. What do neurons use to talk to each other?

  43. What happens when you bother the parietal lobe?

  44. What is a brain's favorite kind of boat?

  45. Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?

  46. What did the angry brain say to the nociceptor?

  47. Why does the spinal cord belong in the brass section of an orchestra?

  48. What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?

  49. When does a brain get afraid?

  50. Why do brains put candy under their pillows when they go to sleep?

  51. Why were the two retinas such good friends?

  52. What has an eye but cannot see?

  53. Why does your nose like to be in the middle of your face?

  54. What do you call a flying ear?

  55. What did the doctor say to the man who had an elephant sitting on his brain?

  56. What is a EEG technicians favorite time of day?

  57. What street does the hippocampus live on?

  58. What does a brain wear in a rainstorm?

  59. What did one eye say to the other eye?

  60. Why are most adult neurons poor at math?

  61. Why are eyes so funny?

  62. Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?

  63. What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?

  64. What does a jellyfish use to catch fish?

  65. What is the brain's favorite television channel?

  66. What is a neuron's favorite television channel?

  67. How do you fix a broken ion channel?

  68. What did parietal say to frontal?

  69. Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?

  70. What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?

  71. What do you call a Tyrannosaurus under stress?

  72. What is the best toothpaste for the brain?

  73. When does it rain brains?

  74. Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?

  75. Why are fish so smart?

  76. What question can you never truthfully answer "Yes"?

  77. Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?

  78. How are eyes and schools similar?

  79. What is a neuroscientist's favorite American folk song?

  80. When is a synapse like a tree?

  81. Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?

  82. How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?

  83. What do you call a hat for the brain?

  84. What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?

  85. What part of the brain has the same name as a famous site in Egypt?

  86. How much money do you have when you combine touch, vision, smell, hearing and taste?

  87. Really Bad

    Joke Alert!!
    What do you call a cow that is a brain researcher?

    (This next joke was sent in by Briana Lee)

  88. Where do you learn everything?

    (This next joke was sent in by Mera Waters)

  89. Why are the temporal lobes considered the "safari" regions of the brain?

    (This next joke was sent in by Jennifer Blakely)

  90. What did the inside of the neuron say in its motivational speech to the outside of the neuron?

Brain Rhyme Time

The answers to each of the next questions rhyme with the word "brain." For example, for the question, "A brain on the tracks," the answer is Brain Train.
In a storm?
Made a spot?
When it hurts?
Most important?
In a BIG storm?
Most logical?
Used as a walker?
A Scandinavian?
Used for bread?
Used to pick things up?
Where it lives?
It flies!
It is linked.
A blood vessel.
A fake.
Get more.
A Northeastern one.
Just regular.
It rules.
Western European
When injured.
It's a gas.
On drugs.
It's still here.
Hold back.
Most conceited?
When grumbling.
A headache.
Before an election.
It's hairy.

Books and authors you will never see (except here)

Sent in by Sarah S.

Sent in by Isaac M.

Sent in by Bill J.

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