Wetland Humor – The best of BLS 393 – Winter 2001

Why was the fen feeling bogged down?

Because everyone loves Marsha, Marsha, Marsha.

What did the boy mushroom say to the girl mushroom while they were in a wetland?

I think I’m a fun guy.

A Scottish man walks into a moor and he laughs and rolls around in the peat and muck. His friend comes along and sees the Scottish man doing this and yells: "Hey, are you have fen? Or are you dying of bog-dom?"

What? Joke at a time like this?

I’d rather make like an emergent deciduous shrub and leave!

Warren, you’re such a fungi.

Why don’t they build freeways through wetlands?

If they did, traffic would get all bogged down!

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs in a bog?

Peat.

Bubba finds himself trapped in a swamp with a gator, a water moccasin, and a lawyer. He realizes to his horror that his gun only has two bullets. What does Bubba do?

He shoots the lawyer twice.

What did all of the other plants say to the yellow buttercup when it arrived on the fringe of the wetland?

Don’t you have somewhere else to go?

What did the Depressional wetland say to the Riverine wetland?

Nothing, it just sat there and cried.

What did the frog say to the cook?

There is no fen like my fen.

What did the salmon say when he bumped his head?

Dam!

What did the snow goose say to the hillside seep?

I’ll see you in the spring!