22 Questions to Help Separate
Positions from Interests

  1. Correct me, if I am wrong...
  2. We appreciate what you've done/ are trying to do.
  3. Our concern is fairness
  4. We would like to settle on the basis of principle, not on the basis of selfish interest or power.
  5. Trust is a separate issue.
  6. Could I ask you a few questions to determine if my facts are correct?
  7. What's the principle behind your action/proposal?
  8. Let me see if I understand what you're saying...
  9. Let me get back to you on that by _______
  10. Let me explain why I have trouble following some of your reasoning...
  11. Is a trial basis/period possible?
  12. If we disagree, the implications are...
  13. What are you trying achieve by...
  14. Could you reword your proposal?
  15. Could you explain what we both can gain by your proposal?
  16. Let me see if I understand your concern...
  17. Would you consider...?
  18. Could you explain what problems you see with my proposal?
  19. How can we decide what is reasonable? what is fair?
  20. Can we break the issue into more manageable parts?
  21. I understand that's your position, but could you explain what it is you are  concerned about?
  22. Why do you think that proposal/price is reasonable?


Vandra L. Huber
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Site designed by Dave Gerson,  last modified on April 14, 1998