STEP RIGHT UP FROM "SMALL CHANGE" BY TOM WAITS

Here are lyrics from Tom Waits's "Step Right Up" from the 1976 album "Small Change"

STEP RIGHT UP STEP RIGHT UP STEP RIGHT UP EVERYONE'S A WINNER BARGAINS GALORE THAT'S RIGHT YOU TOO CAN BE THE PROUD OWNER OF THE QUALITY GOES IN BEFORE THE NAME GOES ON ONE TENTH OF A DOLLAR ONE TENTH OF A DOLLAR WE GOT SERVICE AFTER THE SALE HOW BOUT PERFUME WE GOT PERFUME AND HOW BOUT AN ENGAGEMENT RING SUMPIN FOR THE LITTLE LADY SUMPIN FOR THE LITTLE LADY SUMPIN FOR THE LITTLE LADY THREE FOR A DOLLAR WE GOT OUR YEAR-END CLEARANCE WE GOT A WHITE SALE AND THE SMOKE-DAMAGED FURNITURE YOU CAN DRIVE AWAY TODAY ACT NOW ACT NOW AND RECEIVE AS OUR GIFT OUR GIFT TO YOU THEY COME IN ALL COLORS ONE SIZE FITS ALL NO MUSS NO FUSS NO SPILLS YOU TIRED OF KITCHEN DRUDGERY EVERYTHING MUST GO GOIN OUT OF BUSINESS GOIN OUT OF BUSINESS GOIN OUT OF BUSINESS FIFTY PERCENT OFF ORIGINAL RETAIL PRICE SKIP THE MIDDLE MAN DON'T SETTLE FOR LESS HOW DO WE DO IT HOW DO WE DO IT VOLUME VOLUME TURN UP THE VOLUME DON'T HESITATE DON'T BE CAUGHT WITH YOUR DRAWERS DOWN DON'T BE CAUGHT WITH YOUR DRAWERS DOWN STEP RIGHT UP STEP RIGHT UP THAT'S RIGHT IT FILLETS IT CHOPS IT DICES IT SLICES IT NEVER STOPS LASTS A LIFETIME MOWS YOUR LAWN IT PICKS UP THE KIDS FROM SCHOOL IT KEDS RID OF UNWANTED FACIAL HAIR IT GETS RID OF EMBARRASING AGE SPOTS DELIVERS A PIZZA AND IT LENGTHENS AND IT STRENGTHENS AND IT FINDS THAT SLIPPER THAT'S BEEN AT LARGE UNDER THE CHAISE LOUNGE FOR SEVERAL WEEKS AND IT PLAYS A MEAN RHYTHM AND IT MAKES EXCUSES FOR UNWANTED LIPSTICK ON YOUR COLLAR AND IT'S ONLY A DOLLAR STEP RIGHT UP IT'S ONLY A DOLLAR STEP RIGHT UP AND IT FORGES YOUR SIGNATURE IF NOT COMPLETELY SATISFIED MAIL BACK UNUSED PORTION OF PRODUCT FOR A COMPLETE REFUND OF PRICE OF PURCHASE STEP RIGHT UP PLEASE ALLOW THIRTY DAYS FOR DELIVERY DON'T BE FOOLED BY CHEAP IMITATIONS YOU CAN LIVE IN IT LIVE IN IT LAUGH IN IT LOVE IN IT SWIM IN IT SLEEP IN IT LIVE IN IT SWIMIN IT LAUGH IN IT LOVE IN IT REMOVES EMBARRASING STAINS FROM BEDSHEETS THAT'S RIGHT AND IT ENTERTAINS VISITING RELATIVES IT TURNS A SANDWICH INTO A BANQUET TIRED OF BEING THE LIFE OF THE PARTY CHANGE YOU SHORTS CHANGE YOUR LIFE CHANGE YOUR LIFE CHANGE INTO A NINE YEAR OLD HINDU BOY GET RID OF YOUR WIFE IT WALKS YOUR DOG AND IT DOUBLES ON SAX DOUBLES ON SAX JUMP BACK JACK SEE YOU LATER ALLIGATOR SEE YOU LATER ALLIGATOR AND IT STEALS YOUR CAR IT GETS RID OF YOUR GAMBLING DEBTS IT QUITS SMOKING IT'S A FRIEND IT'S A COMPANION IT'S THE ONLY PRODUCT YOU WILL EVER NEED FOLLOW THESE EASY ASSEMBLY INSTRUCTIONS IT NEVER NEEDS IRONING WELL IT TAKES WEEKS OF HIPS BUSTS THIGHS CHIN MIDRIFF GIVES YOU DANDRUFF AND IT FINDS YOU A JOB IT IS A JOB AND YOU KNOW IT'S A FRIEND IT'S A COMPANION AND IT GETS RID OF YOUR TRAVELER'S CHECKS IT'S NEW IT'S IMPROVED IT'S OLD FASHIONED WELL IT TAKES CARE OF BUSINESS NEVER NEEDS WINDING NEVER NEEDS WINDING NEVER NEEDS WINDING GETS RID OF BLACKHEADS HEARTBREAK OF PSORIASIS CHRIST YOU DON'T KNOW THE MEANING OF HEARTBREAK BUDDY COME ONE COME ALL IT'S EFFECTIVE IT'S DEFECTIVE IT CREATES HOUSEHOLD ODORS IT DISINFECTS IT SANITIZES FOR YOUR PROTECTION GIVES YOU AN ERECTION IT WINS THE ELECTION WHY PUT UP WITH PAINFUL CORNS ANY LONGER IT'S A REDEEMABLE COUPON NO OBLIGATION NO SALESMAN WILL VISIT YOUR HOME WE GOT A JACKPOT JACKPOT JACKPOT PRIZES PRIZES PRIZES ALL WORK GUARANTEED HOW DO WE DO IT HOW DO WE DO IT HOW DO WE DO IT HOW DO WE DO IT WE NEED YOUR BUSINESS WE'RE GOIN OUT OF BUSINESS WE'LL GIVE YOU THE BUSINESS GET ON THE BUSINESS END OF OUR GOIN OUT OF BUSINESS SALE RECEIVE OUR FREE BROCHURE READ THE EASY TO FOLLOW ASSEMBLY INSTRUCTIONS BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED SEND BEFORE MIDNIGHT TOMORROW TERMS AVAILABLE STEP RIGHT UP STEP RIGHT UP STEP RIGHT UP YOU GOT IT BUDY THE LARGE PRINT GIVETH AND THE SMALL PRINT TAKETH AWAY STEP RIGHT UP