Some words of wisdom received—naturally—by
way of forwarded email.
In general, please do not forward chain letters, jokes, offers,
petitions, etc.
to me, especially if they contain
attachments. Thanks!
*Chain Letters and Urban Myths*
1. Big companies don't do business via
chain letters. Bill
Gates is not giving you $1000, and Disney is not giving you a
free
vacation. There is no baby food company issuing class-action
checks. Procter and Gamble is not part of a satanic cult or
scheme,
and its logo is not satanic. MTV will not give you backstage
passes
if you forward something to the most people. You can relax; there
is no need to pass it on "just in case it's true".
Furthermore, just
because someone said in a message, four generations back, that
"we checked it out and it's legit", does not actually
make it true.
2. There is no kidney theft ring in New Orleans. No one is
waking up in a bathtub full of ice, even if a friend of a friend
swears
it happened to their cousin. If you are hell-bent on believing
the
kidney-theft ring stories, please see:
http://urbanlegends.tqn.com/library/weekly/aa062997.htm
And I quote: "The National
Kidney Foundation has repeatedly issued
requests for actual victims of organ thieves to come forward and
tell
their stories. None have." That's "none" as in
"zero". Not even
your friend's cousin.
3. Neiman Marcus doesn't really sell a $200 cookie recipe.
And even if they do, we all have it. And even if you don't, you
can
get a copy at: http://www.bl.net/forwards/cookie.html
Then, if you make the recipe, decide the cookies are that
awesome,
feel free to pass the recipe on.
4. If the latest NASA rocket disaster(s) DID contain plutonium
that went to particulate over the eastern seaboard, do you REALLY
think this information would reach the public via an AOL
chainletter?
5. There is no "Good Times" virus. In fact, you should
never,
ever, ever forward any email containing any virus warning unless
you first confirm that an actual site of an actual company that
actually deals with viruses. Try:
http://www.symantec.com/avcenter/hoax.html
And even then, don't forward it. We don't care. And you cannot
get
a virus from a flashing IM or email, you have to download....ya
know,
like, a FILE!
6. There is no gang initiation plot to murder any motorist who
flashes headlights at another car driving at night without
lights.
7. If you're using Outlook, IE, or Netscape to write email,
turn off the "HTML encoding." Those of us on Unix
shells can't read it,
and don't care enough to save the attachment and then view it
with
a web browser, since you're probably forwarding us a copy of the
Neiman Marcus Cookie Recipe anyway.
8. If you still absolutely MUST forward that 10th-generation
message from a friend, at least have the decency to trim the
eight
miles of headers showing everyone else who's received it over the
last 6 months. It sure wouldn't hurt to get rid of all the
">" that
begin each line either. Besides, if it has gone around that many
times
we've probably already seen it.
9. Craig Shergold (or Sherwood, or Sherman, etc.) in England
is not dying of cancer or anything else at this time and would
like
everyone to stop sending him their business cards. He apparently
is no longer a "little boy" either.
10. The "Make a Wish" foundation is a real organization
doing
fine work, but they have had to establish a special toll free hot
line
in response to the large number of Internet hoaxes using their
good
name and reputation. It is distracting them from the important
work
they do.
11. If you are one of those insufferable idiots who forwards
anything that "promises" something bad will happen if
you "don't,"
then something bad will happen to you if I ever meet you in a
dark
alley.
12. Women really are suffering in Afghanistan, and PBS and
NEA funding are still vulnerable to attack (although not at the
present
time) but forwarding an e-mail won't help either cause in the
least.
If you want to help, contact your local legislative
representative,
or get in touch with Amnesty International or the Red Cross. As
a general rule, e-mail "signatures" are easily faked
and mean nothing
to anyone with any power to do anything about whatever the
competition is complaining about.
(P.S.: There is no bill pending before Congress that will allow
long-distance companies to charge you for using the Internet.)
Bottom Line... composing e-mail or posting something on the Net
is as easy as writing on the walls of a public restroom. Don't
automatically believe it until it's proven false... ASSUME it's
false,
unless there is proof that it's true.
Now, forward this message to ten friends, and you will win the
Publishers Clearing House sweepstakes.