For each of the sample paragraphs below, answer the following questions: (1) What points in the paragraph need to be more fully developed? Identify the key points(s) that are under-developed. (2) Does the paragraph have unity and coherence? If not, what points do not fit together or make sense in the same paragraph? (3) How would you re-write the paragraph to improve its key problem(s)? Write your own paragraph that corrects the problem(s) you identified. You can make up your own information if needed.
(1) Efforts by managers to support employees when they are experiencing personal problems can strengthen the boss-employee relationship in several important ways. Employees are human beings who will naturally have difficulties in their personal lives. Often these difficulties cause distractions for the employee on the job, preventing him/her from working to the best of his/her ability. Studies show that when employees are under stress because of personal problems, they tend to miss work more often, make more mistakes on the job, and have more conflicts with co-workers. It is important for managers to help their employees when possible.
(2) Americans have a variety of resources to heat their homes. Some options include gas, oil, electricity, wood burning and solar power. Each option has both advantages and disadvantages. The best option is using wood to burn fires. Wood is more economical, and it is enjoyable watching a fire burn.
(3) Purchasing a used car requires the buyer's careful consideration of five important factors. Buying a used car can be a difficult process, even when the buyer knows exactly what he/she wants and exactly what he/she can afford. People who sell used cars cannot be trusted. They work on a commission and will always try to sell you the highest priced car, even when it's not the best car for the money. It is best to buy a used car from a private owner rather than a dealer. A person can always check advertisements in the newspaper to learn of used cars that are for sale.
(4) People who exercise regularly experience several main benefits. Because they are doing something positive for their body, people who exercise have a greater sense of psychological well-being. It is important to have a strict workout routine and to be disciplined in following it. It is easy to skip a workout when one doesn't feel like exercising. That is why it is good to have an exercise partner who can motivate you.