29 Reasons

This parody (written by Greg Crowther) is sung to the tune of 29 Ways (written by Willie Dixon and performed by Marc Cohn).

I got 29 reasons why muscles are not a bore.
I got 29 reasons why muscles are not a bore.
When applying for grants,
I can find about two or three more.

If you check out a standard lass,
Muscles are a third of her body mass.
I got 29 reasons why muscles are not a bore.
When applying for grants,
I can find about two or three more.

From cooking your food to sweeping the floor,
Muscles do a really wide range of chores.
You could be out shopping or starting to groove,
But muscles are behind your every move.
I got 29 reasons why muscles are not a bore.
When applying for grants,
I can find about two or three more.

When a muscle is used at a sporting event,
Its fluxes rise 5000 percent!
And if you're getting fit or you have a disease,
Muscle adaptation can be quantified with ease.
I got 29 reasons why muscles are not a bore.
When applying for grants,
I can find about two or three more.

This song presents a summary of reasons why skeletal muscles are interesting and important from a biological perspective. The lyrics are based on Chapter 1 of my doctoral dissertation, "An analysis of metabolic fluxes in contracting skeletal muscle."